As lonely as the sun
by raw-rooky
Summary: One shot , Jacob understands the mechanics of bikes but not of relationships. Jacob comes to terms about his feelings for Bella. Spans between Twilight and Eclipse


**Title: As lonely as the sun**

**Disclaimer: Not of it belongs to me not even the story line**

**Summery: Jacobs view on his and Bellas relationship, spans from twilight to eclipse **

She is sweet and innocent. Her smile turns his world in side out, he shows her all the inns and outs of her new truck. She glows with life and he is captivated. His not surprised to learn that she has a boyfriend a few weeks later.

His father bribes him to speak to her. She sits on the school bench, she looks beautiful in her prom dress. Her boyfriend smells funny and gives him a bad feeling, he hopes that the relationship does not last.

He hasn't seen her in months and he cant believe that this is the same girl who captivated him with her smile. Her eyes are dead, the warmth in them has disappeared. She gives him a sad smile and points to the rust buckets on the back of her truck, her smile is sad and fake. He cant help but pity her. Jacob silently promises to bring her real smile back even if it means fixing the long dead rust buckets.

She sits in a heap in a dark corner of his garage playing with her fingernails pretending that there is nothing wrong while he works on bringing back mechanical corpses from the dead. They make small talk and live flickers in her eyes, he hopes he can bring her back from the dead as well.

He looks up from the underbelly of the rusted motorcycle to see her smile, her whole face lights up with her expression. And his world is turned up side down. He did this, he gave this poor girl her smile back. Jacob cant help but feel proud and he returns the sentiment.

Fire burns beneath his skin, he feels hot and angry and irritated.

He learns why her eyes turned dead, he sees the pictures in the mind of the pack leader. He sees the face of the creature that sucked the live out of the sweet girl who sits in his garage. His looks dawn and his hands are paws and he feels ashamed he realises that he is also a monster a creature just like the life sucking leeches.

She doesn't judge him when she finds out , she doesn't see him as a creature. She doesn't call him a monster or runs away when she sees him turn into a animal.

And fire burn beneath his skin, he feels joy and happiness and …love

She has turned pale and blue. Her body is soaking wet and ice cold. Jacobs heart stops. He curses himself for not looking after her, he curses her for not taking care of herself. Pale and blue becomes pink and white and his heart starts up again. Jacob realises he hates the cold.

She calls him her sun and he warms up from the inside, she calls him her Jacob and boiling lava flows from his heart, he knows the lava has nothing to do with his wolf genes.

Sweet and sickly aromas irritates his nose. He wants to take her and run away far from the bloodsucking creature she calls her friend. She brakes him with two words "…goodbye Jacob", the words echo in his scull, his blood runs cold and his world is turned up side down. The sun is being eclipsed, blocked out by the cold moon. Jacob hates the cold

She kisses him, his world is right side up again. The rays of the sun shining through the stony moon. Her kiss brings his warmth back..

She says she doesn't love him, like she love the leech, she loves a cold monster more then she loves her sun, the lava that flows from his heart cools and he feels as cold as the corps that she is leaving him for. Jacob really hates the cold.

He gets a wedding invitation.

.

The lave in him hardens to a cold stony crust Jacob loathes the cold. He feels lifeless sucked of all his heat. He runs and the sensation warms him. He will run for eternity if it means he doesn't have to feel the cold.

He is no longer her sun

Bella means beauty, she looks beautiful, she is beautiful. He realises how much he has missed her, her presence makes the lave heat up again he baths in the heat. She dances with him and he pretends that it is his wedding, that she is his. It is a delightful fantasy that causes his insides to simmer. He knows its temporarily, his smile is sad and fake.

She tells him she is giving herself to the leech, the hot lava inside him becomes flames igniting all his suppressed hurt. Anger and jealousy flows through Jacob. Tainting his vision with red, he knows it has everything to do with his wolf genes.

He sits in a heap and stares at the mechanical beauty he brought back from the dead the bikes red body shines in the moonlight. On another day he would have been proud of the masterpiece but the warmth in his eyes has disappeared.

He gave and sustained live in her. But she kept circling him never getting close to him, never allowing him to get close to her. He is the sun. Alone in the middle of her universe. She takes his heat his heart but gives noting back.

She has left him cold and alone.

He wonders who is going to bring his smile back. Who is going to bring him back from the dead.


End file.
